CBeebies' Cerrie Burnell - she's 'armless, really.
A few MAD parents have written in to the BBC to complain about the fact that they have let one of their DANGEROUS DISABLED PRESENTERS (DDP) out of the broom cupboard for a few minutes to present some mindless entertainment to some mindless children.
(Explanation: Children's television channel CBeebies has a female presenter named Cerrie Burnell who was born with the lower part of her right arm missing. A number of parents have complained about how this has affected their children. I can see how children might find this alARMing (sorry) or unusual, but surely its not that hard to explain, come on mum and dad, who are you kidding? Are your kids terrified of Barack Obama as well? I bet they just love the swings outside the BNP headquarters too).
They have cited their children having "nightmares" and "not understanding" as reasons why it is a problem.
Here are some simple suggestions of how to explain the disability and put your child's mind at rest.
1. She’s from X-men, I know the stump is scary but what you should really worry about is what she can do with her mind.
2. I've told you not to bite your nails
3. That's her penis
4. Cancer, like Granddads.
5. The Fimbles took it.
6. She didn't listen to mummy either. (or brush her teeth, or go to bed on time, etc.)
8. I know you don’t know who David Cameron is yet, but he did this.
9. Running with scissors is dangerous
10. Glenn Hoddle will explain it all when you're older
Look, she's lovely.
What they should have done is give her a false hand and have it fall off live on air. Then they really would have GRABBED (excuse me) the headlines.